This past week has been fast and full. Several big events added to what an already normal/busy week looks like. If you read my last post you know that included the announcement of my book contract, my birthday and my sister’s newborn baby. Eager to meet my new niece, a quickly planned trip out-of-state just happened too.
Yesterday as I sat in the airport waiting for my delayed flight, I began stressing over the coming weeks’ schedule. I started wondering when and how I’m going to find time to write. This week alone is a day lost to travel, a day for my daughter’s swim meet, a day at my part-time retail job, and a friend’s birthday lunch. All enjoyable, but additions on top of the already normal/busy week.
Reality is there is always something, and I know this time-crunched feeling is not unique to me!
What I find ironic is that just last week I read the chapter in Ann Voskamp’s One Thousand Gifts about being hurried. And I actually thought to myself… “I am busy, but being organized and efficient keeps me from feeling hurried; chaotic.”
Oh, the pride! It’s laughable when I think about it.
Only in thinking about it, I realize it’s more than pride… it’s my desire to control; my desire to order everything perfectly. Apart from that standard, even Miss Organized-Efficient-Me feels chaos running rampant in my heart. Rushing through my agenda, eager to check things off my list, only concerned with getting things done…and my heart, it wanders. It loses sight of Him and the anxiety in feeling time-crunched swells out.
I remebered Ann Voskamp had said when we are “time starved” the real problem is being “soul-famished”. It made sense when I read it, but now it drips into my heart! In all our busyness trying to gain time, we neglect the One who created time, and orders all things. And the One who gives meaning to our days, we have no time for. When we cut off the source of Life, we move from just being time starved to actually finding our soul famished.
As I’m confronted with this thought it seems so clear that I need His Word spoken in to my heart for daily nourishment. His Word to give me eyes to see truth and light. His Word for reorienting my days around his agenda for me.
Apart from the One who is The Word, I will spin out of control. I will become stressed and lose focus. I will forfeit joy, miss daily blessings and not be thankful because all I will see is “me” and what I am missing or not getting done. Or, what is thwarting my agenda, getting in my way.
Instead of viewing time as something I always need more of, Lord, please Redeem the time I have!
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